What they don't tell you...You get THE CALL. Your life-long dream has been fulfilled. You're on Cloud Nine.
But, wait! There are a few things they don't tell you until after you've signed on the dotted line. Here are just a few of them:
1. Self-promotion will suck the life out of you.
2. You must spend hours researching independent booksellers, libraries, book distributors, and thinking of creative ways to get them to stock your book.
3. Postage rates are a b*tch. (Well, they didn't have to tell me that, it's something I already knew).
4. You'll soon be on a first-name basis with the people at Office Depot--all three locations in your metropolitian area.
5. You'll need to stock up on a supply of Mylanta for the quesy feeling in your stomach after you send out your first Advance Reader Copy for review.
6. Press Releases and Author Bios and are not easy to put together when you've live a boring life. Too bad they can't be fiction.
7. Postage rates are a b*tch. (Oh, wait, covered that one already).
8. You'll get sick of your own book after reading it over and over for revisions, galleys, etc.
9. You will have zero time to actually have fun on the internet since all your time will be spent trying to come up with creative ways to promote on a very small budget.
10. Postage rates are...well, you know the rest.